Epic Hiking Fail #2

Apparently I hadn’t learned my lesson on my first failed solo-hike….

A few weeks ago after an absolutely HORRIBLE, humbling week at work, I was feeling low. I had been working nights, and I did not have many friends at McMurdo. Working 6 nights a week, 10 hours a day was getting to me. My only “day off” was from Saturday night to Sunday afternoon….and I was desperate to socialize with…..SOMEBODY….ANYBODY.

When I woke up that Saturday evening, I made an effort to fix my hair, do my make-up perfectly, and wear my new hippy sweater dress. And as most cosmopolitan young ladies will do, I opened up a lovely bottle of New Zealand wine and started my own solo-party in my dorm room while getting ready “to go out.”

Filled with “McMurdo Cheer,” I decided I was ready to hit the town.

After making several phone calls to the few friends I had on station, I discovered that all my friends were going to bed. My timing could not have been more terrible.

At this point I became enraged.

Don’t these people know who I am? How dare they go to bed? I am Kelly Freakin’ McCord!

(Once upon a time, I was quite the social butterfly….obviously my social charms have escaped me since moving to Antarctica).

But I couldn’t stay in my dorm. So there I was, wandering around McMurdo Station alone on a Saturday night like a social outcast…..with my hair all did and no place to go…..no one to hang out with….filled with McMurdo Cheer.

Then I noticed Observation Hill.

“Ob Hill” is one of the highest points on Ross Island. It sits directly next to McMurdo Station. Its 360 views of McMurdo Bay are stunning.

Some idiot told me earlier that week that it only took 20 minutes to climb to the top of Ob Hill. He said it was an “easy hike” too. He was probably also full of McMurdo Cheer when he told me that. (McMurdo Cheer seems to get a lot of people into trouble down here).

Screw all you people. I don’t need friends….I’m going to climb Ob Hill in my dress and my Uggs.

(Many poor life decisions were made that evening…)

In typical Antarctic tradition, the trail was poorly marked, covered in snow, and I somehow ended up on the back side of Ob Hill. The back side is much steeper and has more ice on it since it is heavily exposed to the McMurdo Bay winds. My extremely comfortable Uggs had zero traction. It was only by pride, fear, and sheer determination that I was able to scramble on all fours to the top of that damn peak. I was terrified of losing traction and slipping to my death. In my hazy state, I reasoned it was safer to keep climbing UP than to climb back DOWN. Perhaps I was thinking that some friendly helicopter would happen to fly by and rescue me at the peak??….but that never happened.

I don’t need help….I can do this alone….keep climbing. 

I breathlessly reached the top of the peak and fainted at the foot of the cross. (Unfortunately this was not a saintly Biblical moment for me)….I was just an idiot.  

The famous cross erected at the top of Observation Hill embodies the memory of the tragic Scott expedition whose members froze to death after taking a wrong turn to the South Pole. Unfortunately I failed to recognize the irony of this moment. While this cross was intended to bestow honor and historic pity upon Scott and his men, the only pity I felt that day was for Kelly Freakin’ McCord.

How on earth am I going to get down?

I had two options:

1) I could slowly inch my way down like a sloth on that 75-degree icy incline….(that option would take hours).

2) I could take a chance and just go for it….(slide down on my butt and hope for the best).

Normally my cautious nature would have persuaded me to choose Option 1. But that McMurdo Cheer over-ruled all my sober wisdom, and I chose Option 2.

Resembling the Jamaican bobsledders in Cool Runnings, I slid and tumbled down that icy hill. I hit every rock on the way down. My pretty dress was ruined. My hair was a mess. My gluteus maximus was screaming in pain. And my pride was even more hurt than before.

I really should make more friends here in Antarctica….