Friday, November 20, 2015

Kelly, Queen Of Scots

An old Scotsman lies on his death bed in his home in Edinburgh. His entire family is gathered around him in silence waiting to hear his last words.

“Is my wife here? The old Scotsman stutters.

“I am here, Dear.” She replies in anguish

“Are all my children here?” He stutters again.

“Yes Father, we are all here.” The children reply.

“Are all my grandchildren here?” He stutters again

“Yes Grandfather. We are all here” the grandchildren reply.

“Are ALL my loved ones here?” He asks in tired earnest

“Yes, we are ALL here.” They reply reassuringly.

The old Scotsman takes a deep breath and says, “Then why the hell are the lights still on in the kitchen?”

Hahaha.....smart man. I can relate. My hair might be reddish, my eyes might be greenish, I might have a freckle or two, but the true testament to my heavy Scottish ancestry is my frugality. Frugality is essential if you want to maintain multiple gaps of unemployment in your resume whilst globetrotting. I have mastered the concept of long-term "funemployment."

But today I hit an all-time low....

(….and this confession is coming from a girl who refused to pay two dollars a night at a guesthouse in Cambodia because she heard the guesthouse on the other side of the Mekong River was charging one dollar a night).

My confession:

Before deploying to Antarctica, I foolishly spent over 800 US dollars on fancy long underwear at the outdoor store, REI. “Smart Wool” long-johns are all the rage in the U.S., and I got caught up in an over-zealous shopping spree before I deployed.

However, when I came to Antarctica, I realized that I could get all the long underwear I wanted for free at Skua (The hut of freebie, reject clothes).

But wearing a stranger’s old long-johns is not the embarrassing part of my confession

I then packaged up all my fancy, expensive long underwear (the long underwear I had been wearing for 5 weeks straight), and shipped it back to REI demanding a full refund.

I know. I am naughty….

(Please beware of any upcoming REI garage sales in Dallas)

















3 comments:

  1. Not sure how I feel about you wearing others people's reused long underwear...we need to draw a line somewhere 😝

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    1. Hahaha, I know...isn't it terrible? This place brings out the "homeless bum" in me ;-) No point in dressing up when we all wear big puffy clothes!

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  2. hahahahaha.... laughing so hard. I can relate, my roomie makes fun of me for my no shame of returns these days. --g

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